I have deliberated over whether I should even write this post, or more to the point, how I should write this post, but the main reason I've decided to end up posting it is because I really want to keep it real on this blog and that is something I haven't been doing lately, so here goes...
4 months ago my life turned upside down. My husband and I decided that we were not able to continue in our marriage and by all accounts, it was over. The sheer sadness + utter devastation of losing my partner and my best friend was also met with a fear of being on my own at 31 and having to start over again. To say the last few months have been rough would be an understatement: it hands down has been the hardest thing that I have had to face. But that's exactly what I've had to do, face my fears and keep moving forward.
I wanted to share this because not only is my life undergoing a massive change right now, but also because I wanted to share my story, a story that hasn't ended in happily ever after. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball when we are least expecting it. This is a story about real love, loss and having to deal with the truth about your life being taken off course. I certainly never set out to get divorced but, the reality is that its going to happen and it has taken a lot of courage to face that fact. I continuously have to remind myself of Joseph Campbell's quote, that "we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us".
Its only now, months later, that I can start to look on the bright side and think about all the possible opportunities that lay ahead, and for the first time in a long time, I'm excited. I have this amazing opportunity to rediscover myself, redefine my path and create a new life.
What does the future hold for me? I'm not entirely sure yet; it has been a loooong time since I have been single, so this whole new life is going to take a bit of getting used to but, I plan to have a lot of fun, embrace every opportunity, and do things differently.
Just a note on the blog as well; I have been I debating whether I should continue this little blog given all the changes that have gone on; something doesn't feel quite right and I'm still not entirely sure what the answer is here. You see, I started this blog just after I was married to document my inspirations for decorating our home together, which it has definitely evolved from, but now that my marriage has ended I question whether a new chapter and a new blog are required. You may have noticed (as I have noticed myself) that what I have been posting lately has changed and I guess this is a reflection of the way my life is evolving and the changes currently in motion.
Thank you for reading,
Rachel xo